asakite:

i spent two hours in bed fighting off a panic attack about doing my project. i think subconsciously i have been sabotaging myself for a long time. i’m burnt out. i’m tired. i am UNHAPPY. and as much as i appreciate the encouragement and kind thoughts, i can’t keep doing this to myself. so, i drove home today and told my dad that i will not be graduating next weekend. he was okay with it. i was terrified and i felt like i let everyone down, when in reality i was beating myself up over being not good enough for a career that makes me physically sick to my stomach. i don’t want a job where my only interaction with people is for a story. i want a job where i can help people, be creative, and be happy. but it’s not about what other people think, anyway. i am finally taking care of myself and fixing two of the worst mistakes of my life: being a photo major and working for the daily tar heel. that’s not to say that everything about those choices was bad; i met some of my very best friends through the dth, and i learned about photography and sometimes did things that i enjoyed. it’s just for the most part i was miserable. so next week i will not be earning a diploma, but i will have reclaimed some sanity.

and exactly one week from today, i will get that diploma. things are turning out beautifully.

YAAAYYY GO ALLIE!!!  I can’t wait to graduate with you :)

elyssasharp:

I’m really not old enough to grow up yet. What the hell are they thinking giving me not one, but two degrees??

This is my friend Elyssa.  She’s awesome.  And in this photo, she’s proudly displaying my one and only goal for the next two weeks.

Why people buy foods with “50% Less Fat” « GraphJam: Music and Pop Culture in Charts and Graphs. Let us explain them.

I buy soup that is less sodium or less fat…but then I eat the whole can of soup in one sitting.  With crackers mixed in.

Professional pet photographer.

I’m going to use this summer to start building a photography business and hopefully that will pay the bills in the near future.

My boyfriend and I talked on Friday and things are good now.  After a lot of thinking and talking with a lot of friends, I realized that I was kind of freaking out about being tied down and giving up opportunities for him.  I didn’t realize how much pressure I was putting on myself.  So, I told him all of this and he understood.  We both agreed that we need to spend less time together and make sure that our time together is quality time.  Living together in August is an option, not the plan anymore.  If I find a job far away, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

I had a dream that I transferred to another school.  I can’t remember the name or even if it was a real school, but I remember trying to get people to show me around and tell me about the area.  Then I realized that I was about to graduate and got really upset that I wasn’t going to get my degree from UNC anymore.

playnice:

Pep Talk: Quick! Now’s your chance to live the way you want to. You can go with the flow, blaze a trail, whatever! There isn’t one perfect way to do things. If you have a misstep, we’ll get over it. You do the best that you can and I’ll do the best that I can and life will unfold the way it’s meant to.

Today remind yourself: Now’s my chance.

Now IS my chance…but I haven’t yet figured out the life I want to live.  The reason I’m on this break with my boyfriend is to figure stuff like that out, but I still really miss him.

Way back when Facebook first started allowing applications and Pieces of Flair became the new cool thing to annoy your “friends” with, I collected lots of these fake buttons.  I completely forgot about the app until now.  I still really like my pieces of flair and I feel like they say a lot about me.  Maybe I’ll add some later.  I used to collect real buttons (mostly from mushycat.com) and wear them all over my purse.

I have the best roommates ever!  They made me chocolate cupcakes with homemade cream cheese icing to cheer me up after yesterday’s events.

…currently my least favorite word in the English language.

We’re on a “break.”  I never thought I’d be in a relationship that needs a break, but here we are.  I’m just not happy enough with our relationship, so I told him all about it and he understood.  Seeing him cry for about three hours was the worst part.

We’re taking a few days of not talking so we can both think about things.  After that, we’re probably going to spend less time together, but more quality time together.  The ball is in my court…I have to call him when I’m ready to talk again.  I miss him already, but I know this is what we need to do.

Now I’m just drained and feeling kinda numb.  I have an exam tomorrow that I haven’t started studying for and a paper/project due that I also haven’t started.  I think I’m just going to go to bed now and study in the morning.